HypnoBirthing

I have used HypnoBirthing with both of my previous birthing experiences, and lately I have been re-taking the classes to refresh my mind on the whole process.  Taking the classes now after using it for two births has been really interesting.  There are some things in the classes that, with all due respect to the die-hard fans and teachers out there, I just haven't found to be true in my experience.  But on the other hand, I think a lot of it is really valuable life-lessons for everybody, not just expectant mothers.

First of all, if you are like me, the first time I heard about HypnoBirthing, the name alone made me laugh out loud.  I thought it sounded like some stupid, hippie, "granola" sort of thing to do.  There was a flyer for the classes hanging on the wall at my midwives' office, and I thought it looked ridiculous.  But then when I mentioned to my midwife that I was more afraid of needles than pretty much anything in the world (including pain), she pointed me straight to the classes.  She told me it was all about learning to focus and calm yourself, and that in the worst case scenario it would help me focus and relax . . . while the epidural is put in.

So if you think it sounds ridiculous too, just hear me out for a few minutes.  (Or more . . . I tend to get long winded on this topic.)

First of all, what I don't believe:

*"We firmly believe that comfortable birthing is a possibility for 95 percent of birthing mothers through this philosophy and program." (Hypnobirthing, page 22)

I wish that were true.  The thing is, nothing in the world is as varied (or frankly unfair) as pregnancy and childbirth.  Some of my friends have horrible pregnancies where they puke 4 times a day for 9 months and practically get hospitalized for high blood pressure or innumerable other things, and yet some women out there barely knew they were pregnant.  And the same is true for childbirth in spades. 

I consider myself fairly lucky.  I have had Pitocin with both of my births, and while that isn't my preference, it has kept my labors down to 6 hours or so.  It was no vacation on the beach, though I would say they were both manageable.  But I have a few friends that I converted to Hypnobirthing who practiced far more than I ever did, were calm and focused to the best of their ability, and had excruciating, long labors.  It works for me, and I think that there are a lot of women out there who could benefit from it - one of those friends told me she is going to start practicing again to help herself through the part before her epidural - but it is not for everyone.  So I'm not the type to run around trying to convert everyone in the universe to it.

*"There is absolutely no substitute for the work of this course in conditioning your mind and body in preparation for birth." (Hypnobirthing, page 118)

The first half of the book talks about how natural the process is.  Historically speaking, childbirth wasn't considered a painful or medically attended procedure until fairly recently.  Part of the problem came when it was determined that a painful childbirth is a woman's way to pay for Eve's transgression and her sin that conceived the baby in the first place, and midwives were actually outlawed.  Women were almost encouraged to experience pain.  And now the concept that childbirth should be painful is enforced by movies and especially by the exaggerated tales of childbirth that women all love to top each other with.  ("You were in labor for 18 hours?  That's nothing!  I was in labor for 2 days!  And my 10 pound baby ripped me to shreds!  My epidural has caused back problems for the rest of my life!)

But you know what?  Women are designed to give birth.  We aren't all perfect at doing what our bodies were designed to do, but as a species, this is what we were meant to do.  A big part of the process is listening to your body and letting that determine the course, and not panicking because of what someone else told us would surely happen.

And I find it funny that after chapters talking about how natural the process is, they drill into you that if you don't spend an hour a day practicing relaxation, that will be what you blame when you have a difficult birth.  I'm not saying you just read the book and magically do things perfectly, but I am saying that I don't beat myself over the head with it.  This is a natural process, and once I learn how to let go of my negative feelings and let my body breathe and do what it is designed to do, I will be okay.


Enough with the negative stuff.

Things I think everyone can learn from HypnoBirthing:

*Physical things are a lot more mental than we give them credit for. 

You can ask any marathon runner (including my husband), and they will all tell you about "The Wall".  There comes a point - perhaps at midway, perhaps with a mile or so to go - when your body says "NO WAY."  Every muscle screams that it is time to quit.  The only way to get around that physical difficulty is mentally.  You have to be prepared for it.  You have to want your goal badly enough that you won't let anything stop you.  You have to focus on all of your training and power your way through it.

I think it is amazing the power that our minds have on our bodies.  Fear can make our blood pound, our face sweat, and our muscles tense, even when we are only afraid of a scene in a movie.  Of course, our bodies are often smarter than us.  We can't just will away an illness by wishing it so, because our body has a big job to do.  But we can certainly change how we feel that illness by how much we focus on the pain.

For me, I learned that this is really true in birthing.  When I was about four hours into the process with Tyler, I was starting to get weary.  Things weren't painful, per se, because I was still relaxing through things just fine.  But I was starting to look forward to being done.  And so when the midwife checked me and said that, in her experience, we were looking at another 6-7 hours or so, I panicked.  True panic.  And let me tell you, things instantly got more painful.  I was pushing about an hour and a bit later, but that was the worst hour by far.  When I was focused and calm, I could breathe deeply and relax.  When I focused on fear and tension, my body truly had a harder time functioning.  Which leads me to my next point.

*Fear of a task usually makes us worse at that task.

I learned this one when I was in 4th grade.  We had these end of the year reports that were HUGE.  We honestly spent months in my GT class researching our topic and writing our reports.  And then we each had to stand up and present our report in front of the class . . . and a camcorder.  I was terrified.  Somehow I wasn't nearly as nervous about my class or my teacher, but something about being on tape terrified me.

When it was my turn, I was shaking like a leaf.  I made it through reading my report, but stuttered quite a bit, forgot bits - the works.  And so when I finished and my teacher stepped away from the camera to tell me I did a great job and invite my classmates to ask questions, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. 

Little did I know that she didn't turn the camera off. 

When I watched the tape later I could see the clear difference.  When I was scared of the camera, I performed horribly.  But when I relaxed (assuming the camera and pressure was off), suddenly I was able to answer all the questions easily.  I cracked a joke or two with the class.  I smiled.  I was a good public speaker.

I wish I could say that knowing that made me instantly never nervous again, but it is something I practiced a lot.  Every time I got nervous in front of people, I would take a deep breath and remind myself that I wanted to do the best job possible, and that I could not do that if I tensed up.  After countless class reports, hours on speech team in high school, and a couple of years as a teacher, I can honestly say that I don't feel nervous speaking in front of people.  I know that nervousness makes me worse, so I push that feeling aside and perform better.

Now, if only I could apply that to my fear of playing piano in front of people - or my fear of needles.

In Hypnobirthing class, we talk about the "fight or fight" reflex.  It is an actual, medical state that our body enters when we are afraid.  Blood races to our hands and feet so that we can, literally, fight or flee.  And our body shuts down non-emergency functions.  That is why people who are fighting for their lives in battle aren't hungry - the body has shut down that normal need, and often even shuts out pain from injuries until we can calm down and the danger has passed.  But the danger doesn't have to be something out of a movie.  I'm pretty sure we all feel that level of fear when we see a police car behind us and think it will pull us over.  Or when you lose a child in a grocery store.

Or when you enter a delivery room in total panic, expecting to feel pain.

And guess what?  The muscles that control delivering a baby aren't considered by your body to be of any use in a panic. So they shut down a bit, just like your usual hunger.  Only you are focused on the pain, so you feel that even more intensely than usual.  And your body can't do the best job it can, because it is busy panicking.

*Stress doesn't have to follow circumstances.

I think we all know someone who truly amazes us by being upbeat and positive at all times.  And we also know someone who is a true pessimist that never loses a chance to gripe at their situation and elaborate on their horrible life.  But when I compare the actual lives and challenges of those two people - at least for the ones I know - the optimist is actually dealing with more issues than the pessimist.  Does anyone else notice that?

We all notice this (hopefully) early in life.  I don't anybody is perfect at applying it, but we know that if we remain positive through our challenges they become easier, and that if we focus on the "woe is me" tape running in our head, our situation doesn't usually improve.

With that being said, I still have many pessimistic and irrational moments.  But I am constantly trying to remind myself to breathe and look at the positive side, because that is just the only way to make it through life.

I would recite the entire story of Kaitlyn's birth and the point at which I lost my mind - because it is a funny story - but this blog post is getting way too long. Suffice it to say that I reached a point at which my physical challenge had not gotten any harder, but I put up a mental wall anyway and refused to budge.  It took a brilliant midwife (pictured above) to bring me back to a less stressful place so that my body could do it's job again.



Anyway, for anyone who actually stuck with me through this long-winded post, I hope you can see what I am saying.  HypnoBirthing might sound weird, and it might not be for everyone, but I do love the concepts that it teaches.  I love the challenge of natural childbirth.  I love being connected to my body and my baby that way, and I love knowing that I can accomplish something like this by focusing and slowly working my way through it.  I love the reminder to de-stress all aspects of my life to create a better and happier life.  And . . . I'm happiest when people don't try to stick huge needles in my back.

We'll see how this one goes.

(I just realized that this blog post contains not just one or two, but three horrible pictures of me.  Good grief.)