1. Potty training
Oh my, this terrifies me. Why is it that I clean up puke often, but the mere thought of pee on my carpet makes me shiver and gag? Tyler is 3 and a half years old now. He understands what a potty is for, and any time you put him on it he makes his best effort to shoot out what he has. But he has no concept of waiting to go in the potty, telling me when he needs to go potty, or going number two in there at all. In fact, he is not bothered by messy diapers one bit. So I could switch to the expensive pull ups, put my entire life on hold, and take him to the potty every 15 minutes until he gets it, but what if he isn't ready for that? What if I end up doing that for months?
And then Kaitlyn. She loves to sit on the potty. Loves to ask for potty. But usually she just asks for it right after she went. And this morning, when I put her on the potty before a shower, she sat for a while and wanted down, just like normal. So I put Tyler on, and turned around to see her legs wet. Stink bug. I don't think she is ready yet, I just need to keep putting her on when she asks to and reward her amazingly on the off chance something happens while she is there.
But can I just say, the whole thing SCARES ME TO DEATH! I have heard so many horror stories. And I think they will be ready at about the same time, and I think I need Kaitlyn doing it to show Tyler what is going on, because that is the way they usually work.
2. Working out
This one doesn't scare me, just worry me. This is a long story, so bear with me. When I was pregnant with Tyler, I gained 50 pounds. Yes, five - zero, felt like a whale. But then a miracle occured, and I lost 45 of those merely by nursing over the next two months. I had five more I wanted gone, and so I got a gym membership and went five days a week for an hour and a half. For months and months on end.
And never lost a single pound.
Now, before you say it, yes, I know. I know I lost fat while I gained muscle. I know that even though my clothes didn't fit that differently, I was more tone. I was in better shape, and ran a couple of races. But for the love, would it have killed my body to have given me just a shred of quantifiable result for hours upon hours of killing myself at the gym?
So, on to pregnancy number two. I started at five pounds over, because those stupid pounds never left. I gained 24 pounds, after doing fairly close to what I did with the first pregnancy. I lost 16 of those in the hospital: 8 baby, 8 placenta and fluid and such. And now, since Kaitlyn was born, I have actually lost 35 pounds. Yes, that's right, I lost that five that wouldn't leave, and then five more. By doing what, you ask?
Sitting around at home, nursing. And now just sitting around has kept the weight perfectly stable. I watch what I eat, but not like a nutcase.
So last October, I stopped working out. I just couldn't see the point anymore. I never did excercise before I met Christopher. Well, there was a spot in my Freshman year when I tried running a few mornings, but that was just when the Freshman 15 scared me to death. Christopher loves running, and so I have always tried to get into it a little for his sake. But I don't really enjoy it myself, nor any of the other excercises I have done. Yoga is relaxing, pilates/aerobics classes are energizing, and running is great for clearing your mind, but I'd rather be sitting on the couch, thanks.
On to my current problem. I have no energy anymore. I have been ignoring my body for so long, that now I am exhausted just by cleaning my house and doing the laundry. So I know I need to work out, but I also know I have NO self discipline about it, because I have learned I won't get "anything" out of it, so if no one else is depending on me, I won't do it.
I think in order to get it actually done, I would need someone to depend on me. A personal trainer, a friend with an exact schedule, something. Some people are self motivated, but I have to admit I am not that person. I had that drive that one summer, because I kept thinking I would get results. Now that I know in the back of my head that nothing ever happened, I just don't think I will do it again.
When I look at my day, there is this big gap where I could work out - Tyler goes to school at noon, and Kaitlyn goes down for a two hour nap soon after that. The problem is that I have to stay at home because Kaitlyn is sleeping! We have a klunky old treadmill, but at home there are so many distractions. If I was home, I would go off and do the laundry or clean something up or surf the internet instead. Each day, I convince myself that only that particular day is so busy, and I would be back at it tomorrow. But I would be just as distracted then, too. When I go to the gym, my options are a bit more limited. If this was the summer, I would hire a kid to come and watch the house while the baby sleeps. But the only people available from noon to 2 every day are other moms like me, who do not have time to sit at someone else's house for two hours twiddling their thumbs. And my gym membership (which is frozen right now) includes day care, but then Kaitlyn wouldn't get her nap. I could go another time of day, but I already lose Tyler for four hours a day for school, and I think I would feel terrible ditching him any longer than that.
Ideas, anyone?
And now, something that makes me sad:
3. My TI-83 died.
This poor little calcuater made it through 4 years of high school math classes, 4 years of hard core college math classes, 2 years of teaching math, and 3 years of tutoring math. And now it died. You turn it on, and the little black box blinks no matter what buttons you press. No switching of batteries helps. I think my kids got to it. Now I need to go buy a hundred dollar replacement calculator. Since the old one lasted so long, I guess I shouldn't be that sad. But it still had a sticker with my name on it from Geometry class in High School! For a math nerd, I think this is like losing a friend. Sniff.
4 comments:
I loved this post!!! I have so many of the same feelings. I actually do enjoy working out, I am just not self motivated. I started taking a dance class three years ago and it is my saving grace. I love it! It is totally and completely something for me and I get the added exercise as well.
Potty training - It is not worth the stress if they are not ready! I have watched so many people push their kids into it, and yes, eventually it all works out, but I preferred to wait and it was low stress and fast! Scotty was the oldest at almost 4 and Alli wasn't far behind!
The calculator! I so feel your pain!!! I love my HP. My niece needed a calculator for her math class last year and they asked if she could borrow mine... I gave it to her willingly, but I was so sad and missed it so much. After a month, they bought a TI because the teacher didn't know how to work the HP very well and I got my beloved HP back! Happy Day! :)
K, so, having never potty trained, I have no idea what I'm talking about. Just fyi. :) Not that you didn't already know that. But anyway, I have heard from SO many people that you should just wait until they're ready. I'm convinced that there is some major truth to that. The only problem is, I'm too stubborn to wait that long. So, I researched the whole potty training thing and found this e-book that I bought for $7. This lady who has 3-4 kids (can't remember how many) and who has also been a daycare worker for 20 some odd years wrote it on a whim. You can tell it's just some lady with a lot of experience with potty training but with no writing skills. That's actually something I like about it, because I feel like it's real. Anyway, she is a VERY popular daycare teacher because people take their kids to her, and she potty trains them. She's potty trained over 100 kids. She has some techniques that sound great to me, so I'm going to try it out. Again, don't know if it's going to work or not, but I'm definitely going to give it a try, because if it works, Cody will be trained at the age of 2! Yay!! I HATE diapers!! The website is http://thepottytrainer.com/
Okay, so onto the working out thing. Ya, I have the same motivational problems. It's just plain not there. And the lack of energy is definitely a problem in my life right now. I can barely function throughout the day unless I nap while Cody's napping. My problem with the gym daycare is that Cody absolutely HATES it. I feel like an awful mom when I go to get him, and his face is all red and blotchy, and the daycare worker tells me that he was beside himself unless someone was holding him. It breaks my heart. Plus, I can't get over the germs that I know infest that place. I know, I'm kind of a freak. Anyway, I'm the same way as far as needing a friend that relies on me in order to get going. The only conclusion I've come to as of late is that I need to start going before Steven leaves for work in the morning. He leaves at 8:00 at the latest, which means I need to be at the gym by 6:30 at the latest. The thought of waking up at 6am even just a couple times a week absolutely terrifies me, but it's something I did when the gym was in my backyard, and when I did that is when I worked out the best, and felt my best for that matter. Anyway, if you need a gym buddy, I'd be willing. We could start meeting at the gym at 6:30, if you want. Believe me, I totally understand if that's too early for you, in fact, it's giving me anxiety just thinking about it, but I'm really tired of feeling like I have no control over my body anymore, so I really need to do something about it. Anyway, let me know.
As for your calculator, I'm sorry. :( That's a bummer. I get really attached to so many different objects like that...never a calculator, but I know how you feel.
Haha, this is the longest post I've EVER written, BY FAR! Ha ha, I probably should've just called you.
I meant, this is the longest "comment" I've ever written, not "post". :)
Hehe. I'm sorry. I think the calculator death is funny... I hated mine with a passion. Never really did learn how to use it. In class I would tap on the shoulder of the girl in front of me and she would turn around and press the buttons for me (looking at it upside down no less) and roll her eyes at me.
There are probably five of them floating around my dad's house, we each had to have one of the blasted things. You should call him. :)
Though come to think of it the joke is probably on me- seeing as how I have decided to homeschool... any chance you want to be a math mentor to my kids so I don't have to learn...?
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