My Sweet Tyler

Sometimes I am amazed by how far Tyler has come.  I think back to when he was turning three and still didn't understand the purpose of communicating, and I know we have come a long way.  Tyler struggled to nurse at the beginning, he was slow to learn how to crawl and walk, and couldn't figure out how to get himself to sleep until he turned three.  But now, he tells us what he wants!  He can get himself dressed!  He is basically potty trained!  He knows the words to songs and books that we practice!

But sometimes I watch him and how far behind other kids his age he is, and it makes me really sad.  The only word he can read or write is his own name.  He still doesn't understand a lot of what goes on around him, and it takes me 10 minutes to prompt him through every step of going to the bathroom.  I was excited the other day because he got invited to a birthday party.  There are over 15 kids his age in our neighborhood, but since most moms aren't crazy enough to invite all of them at this age, Tyler rarely makes the cut.  It makes the mother bear in me really sad, though I realistically understand that he doesn't know these kids very well and wouldn't understand what is going on at the parties anyway.  And sure enough, when I came to pick him up at the end of the party, he had been so busy playing all by himself in their sandbox that he didn't notice that everyone else was eating cake and ice cream.  The image of him singing to himself as he dug while the rest of the party laughed and ate together on the other side of the lawn really got me down that day.

Sometimes I am just so amazed at how happy and patient he is!  He takes whatever life gives him and smiles.  No matter if we drag him on really long car rides, on plane rides that make him air sick, or trudge him up hill for 1/3 a mile in 3 feet of snow in the dark, Tyler doesn't complain.  Most of the time he has no idea why we are doing any of those things, but he just comes along.  Having seen a lot of the kiddos in in class, I can say that is really, really rare for someone with communication delays.  Usually these kids get very angry and frustrated that life isn't going the way they want it to and they have no idea how to change it.  But Tyler just smiles through it all.  If you give him a toy he loves, like play dough, he will entertain himself for hours without moving.  And even if the water is freezing cold, Tyler is determined to have fun anyway.

But sometimes I wonder what is in store for him in the future.  I wonder if he will ever be able to have a job or a family of his own. I wonder if he will ever be "normal" enough that people don't notice, or if he will always be someone that others feel awkward around.  While he is young, it is okay for him to be the happy and oblivious little guy, but when he gets older, will he be able to handle real life?

There is an always though. I am ALWAYS grateful for the angels that have come into our lives to help him (and me!) learn and grow.  He had wonderful therapists at Kids On the Move, and last year his teacher Joanna was a huge turning point for us both.  I adore the amazing people at Clear Horizons that he has gotten the chance to work with.  And this year, he had a sweet and dedicated teacher that made a huge difference once again.  I am amazed by the patience of Kindergarten teachers in general, but a classroom of these kiddos can be a real handful.  Even with the extra aides she gets to help her, it is often all hands on deck to keep them on task.

And yet, as we went to their "graduation" yesterday, she was struggling not to cry as she talked about how wonderful each of them is.  You could tell she genuinely loved these special little souls, and said that the rest of the world was missing out by not seeing the world through their eyes.

This year Tyler also had a wonderful pair of bus drivers.  You would think that bus drivers wouldn't have that much impact in their lives, but these went above and beyond.  Angie told us that since her grandkids were getting older, she loved every second she got with these little ones. And Ed was just so sweet with the kids.  They never missed a chance to tell us how much they loved Tyler.

And no matter what, we'll always love him too.

(There were other pictures where they were more posed, but I loved seeing her try to stop him from waving at his mommy.)