I crossed out races very quickly. My husband tries his best to remember to sound impressed when I run a 5K, but to be honest, after hearing "oh, I only had time for a short run tonight, so I only made it 9 miles" for years, I can't even be proud of myself for it. I don't think I'd even feel accomplished if I made an entire marathon. Because it would take me hours more than my husband's slowest time ever. And given how awful my hand-eye coordination is, all other physical goals get eliminated quickly.
So I thought about where my actual strengths lie. I'm good at teaching math, but rewards and milestones for that are few and far between. I consider myself rather good at crafty stuff, but the only contests for that are online blogs. I would need to have a blog that people actually read (ha), enter a contest, spend hundreds of hours making ridiculously elaborate things I would never let my kids touch out of terror they would ruin it, and if I won, I would only end up with a thousand comments on the blog post that say "OMG that's so cute!" Ugh.
And the more I thought about it, I wouldn't want to spend that much time away from my kids for just about any goal. In the end, that is my main focus for my life.
I realized that maybe the key is to celebrate the small accomplishments.
I'm proud of what sweet little kids I have. I loved watching Tyler a week ago when we brought in baby Jasmine for his show and tell. He LOVES his baby sister. When we came home from our vacation, he gave us hugs and then spent the next 10 minutes cooing at the baby he missed so much. And when he got to show her off to his class, he laughed and hugged her dearly and danced with joy.
I'm proud that I get to help out my neighbors with their math classes. I had a younger student that started coming recently because his dad's job didn't leave enough time for the help he needed anymore. He was a bit nervous at first, but every time I complimented him on getting something right or remembering something important, he took it right to heart, nodding with pride. "Thank you!" And when he went home, he told his mom that he wanted to keep coming back because he had FUN. I love hearing from the parents that their child passed their last test miraculously, or was happy to go back to their class because they finally understood what was going on.
I'm really happy with how Jasmine's baby blessing dress turned out! This project was so perfectly me, to be honest. I had this white skirt that I loved . . . until I got a stain on the lap of it. So it has sat in my "to be re-purposed" pile for a while now. Instead of a pattern, I tore apart an old baby onesie I didn't like to pattern the sleeves , and made the rest up as I went.
I might not win awards for this talent, but I am really glad that I know how to sew. It isn't a given these days, and it is such a useful talent I just don't know how anyone lives without it! I mean, an hour before we were heading to the airport for our beach vacation, I was at my sewing machine adding elastic to my husband's favorite swim trunks so that he could keep them up. I am so glad that I can fix clothing and create random toys and bags and things for my kids.
We had a wonderful baby blessing on Mother's day, by the way. What a perfect day to celebrate a little baby! And when my mom lamented to my dad last week how much she wished she could be here to celebrate with us, he told her that she should go. And so she did! I had a wonderful Mother's Day, hosting all of our family and friends, admiring my adorable little girl in her pretty little dress, and then leaning back in my Mother's Day present to relax afterward with my favorite girl friends.
And my mom loved that I made her favorite Black Forest cake for the occasion.
I'm so proud of Kaitlyn lately! She is honestly a big help with baby Jasmine. She loves to run and get me binkies, and has become a pro at giving them to Jasmine herself. But the biggest victory has been her reading skills! I have spent a lot of time with her lately, going through words letter by letter. "What letter is that? What sound does it make? Okay, let's sound them out together . . ." And then, lo and behold, last week she shifted from writing books by scribbling a line on a page to attempting to sound out and spell words all on her own. She wrote this letter to her Uncle Gary and Aunt Jackie and Maya and has asked me to mail it for her.
Obviously it isn't spelled the right way, but the fact that she tried it herself and got to "Mieu" and "Gre" instead of "Maya" and "Gary" by asking me is actually more impressive in my mind.
Another day, she decided to ask her friends to "please come to my sleepover."
She is by no means the first kid in the world to learn how to spell, but what I'm really proud of is that I could actually see cause and effect in my parenting efforts. We have worked hard on letters and spelling, and she is making great progress that she is proud of. Many parts of parenting feel like running on a treadmill - cleaning up toys that will be all over the house again tomorrow, potty training for two years straight, etc - but for once, I could actually see that what I did made a direct impact.
That might not all add up to an Ironman, but it's enough for me!
1 comment:
Beautifully put!
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