Learning how to learn

I learned a lot from being a teacher, but one lesson in particular has always stuck out. You see, when I was a student, I never wanted to be the one asking dumb questions. I would come in to certain teachers after class, but it really depended on how comfortable I felt with the teacher. You might think it was my peers in the class I was afraid of, but really - it was the teachers. I'd say most of my professors in college never knew my name. And in college, I was particularly stubborn on the Math Lab. BYU has a fantastic Math Lab, where you can go and get help for free on all of your classes. But I never set foot in the place. I was technically qualified to work there, and looking back, I think it was really pride that kept me from going there for help, even when all my friends did. I would rather stuggle on my own, 50 feet away.

When I started teaching high school Algebra, I noticed the students just like me. The ones that kept it to themselves when they didn't understand, but lit up when someone else asked the question for them. I could tell- they didn't want me to know if they struggled. They wanted me to think they knew it all. But you know what never occured to me as a student, or to those kids in my class?

You can't hide from the teacher. The teacher grades your tests, and knows exactly how well you are doing.

So why hide? Why keep all your questions to yourself and hope someone else asks them? Because as a teacher, I had a lot more respect for the kids who asked me questions. I knew what they could do and struggled with, and gave them the benifit of the doubt when I could. It turns out the silent kids like me were a notch down.

Recently I started going to a photography class. And over the first week or two, it suddenly occured to me that I was doing the exact same thing. I felt like I knew more than most of the class- I had my camera for a year before the class started, and read most of the basics on the internet beforehand. And somehow I thought that keeping silent would communicate that to the teacher. Or maybe even just prove it to myself.

So I decided: it was time to change.

The next week, he asked if anyone had pictures to show the class. Keeping in mind my new resolve, I brought up my SD card. It was nervewracking, that's for sure. And he very quickly pointed out a big mistake I had made. But you know what? I wouldn't have known about that mistake otherwise. I am paying for this class to learn. How else am I going to learn?

In fact, I felt so bold that after class I went up and asked him questions.

Now, during the time that I was watching the show with my Grandfather last Saturday, my photography class was meeting in a park to take pictures with the professor and learn on the go. I had asked the teacher what I could do instead, and he told me to take pictures of something- anything. And so I took my camera to the dance that weekend, and took pictures. I adjusted my settings like he showed us to. I stood on a chair in my four and half in heels so I could see the band better, up on their stage. I felt rather silly, wandering around taking pictures while everyone else was enjoying the night. (I told my friends that I felt like a strange band groupie, but they told me I looked like a hired professional photographer. Aww, thanks guys!)

And then ever since that night, I thought about my settings and cringed. Did I do things right? I had to adjust for the dark lighting, so I did things differently than what he told us.

By the time I came into class last night, I had firmy decided not to show my pictures. But when he opened the class, he said asked if anyone had pictures to bring up. And then he looked at ME. "Did you get a chance to take any pictures this weekend?"

Caught.

"Yeah, but it was of my husband's band in a dark-lit Dance, so I'm not really proud of them."

"Well, let's take a look at them- they will be something different."

Deep breath. Long walk up to the front.

He listened while I described the settings I had used and why, along with the struggles I was up against. He showed my pictures to the class and talked about them. And he told that I had used the best settings I could have, given the equipment and the lighting that I had.

I did it right!

They aren't the best shots ever. But just knowing that I did the best I could have really made my night.

I guess you really are never too old to learn!